40-Year Old Macaw Accepted To Harvard

VEN (CAMBRIDGE) —  Carlos The Macaw will be part of the 2017 incoming class of Freshman at Harvard, after the Ivy League University Board of Admissions was impressed with his application essay, in which Carlos’s owner — an undocumented immigrant from Honduras — dipped the parrot’s feet in ink and had him repeatedly walked across his application form.

“This eeze a great honor not only for Carlito, but for all Macaws everywhere,” Carlos’s attorney told VEN Tuesday.  “Eef a bird can go to Harvard, then why not a cow or a peeg? Or a little cabrito?  Gracias a Dios por El Norte!  The United States is truly the land of opportunity!”