11 Taliban Killed, Injured After They Drive Over Their Own Landmine

VEN (KABUL) — Taliban leaders are threatening to behead French-Canadian IED advisor Marcel Leblanc after he instructed a team of  anti-American Mujahideen  “freedom fighters” to drive into a mine field, killing almost everyone.

“The map, she was upside down,” Leblanc explained to reporters Friday.  “You hand me the map that way, then — well — it’s hard to expect a good result.  This time, a bigger hammer — she would not make a difference.”

The Taliban, however, see things differently.

“We are declaring a fatwah on French Canadians,” a leading mullah told VEN.  “The are worse than a thousand MOABs!  About half of our hot water faucets are now on the right. Every cave has a dropped ceiling that is too low.  The ground around each camp is covered in discarded Slim Jim wrappers. And I swear by Allah, if I see another overweight man in his 60’s in a speedo or one more bowl of fried potatoes with cheese curd and gravy I’m going to behead myself!”

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