Perfect SAT Score? DOJ To Investigate Chuck Schumer’s Ties To Russian Test Takers

VEN (WASHINGTON) — While talking-head pundits sift through the ashes of James Comey’s firing yesterday by President Trump, and partisan Democrats and RINOs like John McCain are calling for a special investigator and congressional hearings,  still flying under the radar is the ongoing DOJ investigation into Senator Chuck Schumer’s claim that he got a perfect score on his SATs.SATs

Earlier this month, VEN reported in an exclusive report that Mr Schumer  had his test results altered by an older gay lover who worked for the Educational Testing Service (ETS).

And as early as June, 2013, VDARE reported that while in high school Mr Schumer worked for SAT prep guru Stanley H. Kaplan, and had access to all the SAT questions and answers.

But it may actually be worse than that.

As one anonymous DOJ  investigator told VEN, “I don’t mean any disrespect,  but anyone who’s spent any time at all with Chuck knows that he’s just a complete moron.  Spend five minutes with the guy and you can’t remember where you parked your car.  He’s that stupid. chuck-schumer-3

“We’ve had psychologists from MIT and Stanford tell us that they’ve done studies of shut-ins watching Schumer on C-SPAN, and after ten minutes their IQs dropped by between 15-20%.  In person, it’s actually much worse.  I’d be surprised if Chuck even knows how to spell S-A-T.

“And what kind of jerk brags about his SAT scores in the first place?  He even has that on his Wikipedia page, for Christ sake!  It just didn’t add up.”andropov

According to anonymous sources, the DOJ is looking into a connection between Mr Schumer and a Yuri Andropov-sponsored Russian test taking ring that was operating in Russian-Jewish neighborhoods in New York in the 1960s.

In return for taking the SATs for ambitious, mediocre highschool students, the Russians demanded political favors later on.  Attached to this was the threat of blackmail.old russian woman

The investigation is apparently focusing on a Moscow native Anastasiya Petrov, now 93, who — many believe —  impersonated Mr Schumer at the SAT test site by pulling a  kippah over her eyes and wearing high-water chino pants, white socks,  and brown Stride Rite corrective shoes.

Developing ….