VEN (IRAQ) — The new David Eisenhower — Ivanka Trump’s husband and Trump advisor, Jared Kushner — looked a little out-of-place in IRAQ recently after a breakdown in logistics routed his Urban Sombrero to the Philippines.
The 36-year-old Harvard alumnus — whose father’s 2.5 million dollar donation to the university trumped bad prep school grades and mediocre SAT scores — told his military attaché that not only was his “UrSom” missing, but some “Yale guys” stole his Roberto Cavalli tie in the airport men’s room, and he wanted some “grunts” to go and get it back for him.
“I mean, that’s what you guys do, right? Basically anything I tell you to do, right? Cuz I’m like — oh yeah! — f***ing married to the President’s daughter!”
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 