Balls!” Said The Queen. “If I Had Them I’d Be King!

VEN (RAVENSWOOD) —  Dishonest, criminal,  off-putting,  concussed finally former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton blamed FBI Director Comey, Wikileaks, and her much maligned vajayjay for her loss to Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election.

“Certainly misogyny played a role. That just has to be admitted,” Clinton explained to well-wishers Thursday, many of whom were surprised to learn that she still self-identified as just a woman.

Colleen Datche, president and founder of Medeas For Hillary, told VEN’s  Washington correspondent Dirk Diggler that whereas her organization continues to support Mrs Clinton in her bid to become the first woman mayor of Port Chester, NY, she was confused by her statements about misogyny.

“We feel let down, cast aside.  Like Jill Banford at the end of D.H. Lawrence’s The Fox,” Ms Datche explained. “Hillary is so much more than a woman.  And so much stronger than a man!  Why won’t she just say that?  My God, she’s a bigger criminal than Al Capone, for Christ sake!  And not one day in jail!”

Jill Ratchford of Softball Nation echoed those sentiments. “Everyone talks about how stunning Melania is.  OK, sure.  I could hit that.  But what about Huma?  Hillary dresses her like a princess!  Talk about a home run!  And unlike Melania, Huma’s a little sherpa, always walking six feet behind Hillary, carrying everything for her, demure, never saying a word.  If that inspires misogyny, then f***ing supersize me!   We just wish Hillary would be more empowering and acknowledge that.”

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