Sprecher des Hauses Lies To The Führer


VEN  (BERLIN) — Sprecher des Hauses, Paul Ryan,  repeatedly assured the Führer that he had the necessary votes to secure victory for what many are calling a terribly flawed Health Plan that was worse than the deeply flawed Affordable Care Act it was intended to replace.

But in the end, the feckless charlatan  was unable to deliver the necessary votes, forcing the Führer to table the bill and postpone the vote indefinitely.


Whilst the Führer publicly defended the Sprecher des Hauses, his Stellvertreter des Führers, Steve Bannon, denounced Ryan as an enemy of the people, controlled by gangster capitalists and special interests, and called for his immediate removal and arrest.

“Such impertinence, such transparent betrayal!  Une merde dans un bas de soie!  This pipsqueak’s odious Tartuffery  would be laughable were it not for the damage it has done to the Party, to the People, to the Führer, and to the very sanctity of The Reich itself!”

Beset by mounting criticism from his own party and the newly emboldened Democrats — abetted by a virulent Zionist press — The Führer, many now believe,  may simply decide to dissolve the corrupt and moribund Reichstag, and assume absolute power.

As one insider told VEN,  such an unthinkable expropriation 18 months ago is now perhaps long overdue:

“How can you expect to get anything done with a Reichstag filled with lobbyist-controlled obstructionists, like the shameless self-promoting Sprecher des Hauses Ryan, who are determined at every turn to undermine the Führer and the Volk who elected him?

“And let me tell you something — the man doesn’t shower properly or apply deodorant like one would expect from a mature man!  Try standing next to him for 5 minutes.  It’s impossible!”