Most guys are just after one thing, right? S-E-X. Or so it seems. But a recent study at Cornell University of 500 professional men between 21 and 55 — all earning over six figures — may surprise you.
Here are the three things these very successful men valued most in a woman:
1.) Is she strong?
For 98% this was a must have.
Guys may tell other guys it’s all about hooking up with no strings attached (which is why John Mayer created Tinder, lol), but in reality, an overwhelming majority of successful men are looking for that special lady who’s not only smokin’ hot, but is also not afraid of taking charge when things get physical.
“Sure, I like a slender little DTF hottie who can go from jeans to a little black dress in five minutes,” one corporate CEO explained. “But can she handle an 80-pound bag of Patch-Crete? Or help me rotate the tires on my Mercedes when it’s out of warranty?”
Hey, you don’t have to be Rosie O’Donnell or a shot-putter from the Ukraine to tackle this one. Just don’t be the girl who pretends to break a nail every time there’s more than three bags of groceries to carry and you’ll be fine.
2.) Does she like to clean?
For 96% this was a must have.
Sexist, right? Something a misogynistic Trump voter would say?
Not at all!
What most successful men are looking for is not another Mom or a maid to pick up after them — 90% of those surveyed have a cleaning service or at least one Roomba, and aren’t looking to replace them with their GFF.
Instead, what most successful guys want is a woman who values cleanliness, notices in an instant when something’s not right, and on those rare occasions when Roomba’s recharging or Esmeralda’s on vacation, isn’t averse to grabbing the Swiffer without being asked or plugging in that Kirby or Riccar and helping him clean up after those three adorable kids from his first ex-wifes’s second marriage!
Seriously, if you make an effort to help him when he’s overwhelmed, he’ll reward you in ways that will make your head — and heart — spin!
3.) Does she speak English?
For 88% not being able to speak English was a very nice to have.
Oh, boy …. I see where this is going …. strong, likes to clean, doesn’t speak English — The Stepford Wives, right?
WRONG!
95% of men surveyed said they are looking for someone “exotic” and “mysterious,” someone from a far-away land like China or Thailand or Brazil who can be captivating, alluring, and charming in their complete indifference to learning English.
So what do you do if you’re a 100% All-American girl? Or a Canadian? Grab a copy of Rosetta Stone and pretend to be from Japan?
Not at all. Just translate non-native speaker to demure and you’re right back in the game. In other words, save the mellow harshing how-much-I-hate-my-whatever rants for your GFFs.
Remember, like Sam said, he’s not there to be your emotional tampon! He has his own problems, and like all successful men will only make things worse by trying to solve your problems for you, which is the last thing you want!
So when you’re with your special man, make it all about the two of you, not all about how bad your day was or how much your mother is driving you crazy! You won’t be sorry!
And expect the same from him in return!
Remember — no one said relationships are easy. Just relax, learn to read his signs, be as reasonably honest as the situation warrants, and you’ll be well on your way to getting your first MRS degree, if that’s what you’re after!
As the novelist Joseph Conrad once wrote, “Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.”
How true!
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 