Time Is On My Side, Yes It Is — Fetterman Eats Toad, Sprouts Horns, Starts Speaking Aramaic!

VEN (PITTSBURGH) — During his victory speech early Wednesday morning — in what Republicans are calling a terrifying display of Satanic ritual sacrifice gone wrong — brain damaged Senator-elect John Fetterman suddenly began praising Baal and Lucifer, while encouraging women in the audience to dance naked around him on the stage as his wife covered them in cow’s blood.

CNN‘s Anderson Cooper remarked to panelists that despite the unprecedented win, Fetterman’s behavior seemed “a bit odd,” which he attributed to the senator-elect’s ongoing struggles with aphasia and drug addiction.

What goes around REALLY goes around — Fetterman’s vision of the New Amerika.

Panelist and VEN Senior Political Consultant Gretta Milano disagreed.

“He referred to himself as Azazel, for God’s sake! Shouted that now we can empty the prisons, legalize heroin and fentanyl, sacrifice babies to Baal by the hundreds of thousands, and turn America into a dystopic Frankist hellscape that would be the envy of Sodom and Gomorrah!

“While he said all this, the hall was filled with the acrid stench of burning sulfur and underscored with ear-splitting strains of Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana. We can’t simply attribute that to his morphine addiction.”

Dana Bash disagreed.

“Look, Gretta. Why harsh the guy’s mellow? Mr Fetterman was just having some fun. Instead of looking for things to criticize, why can’t we all just join in and celebrate this creature’s, excuse me, this man’s incredible journey with him? He’s truly an inspiration for us all!”

Developing . . . .