VEN (NEW HAMPSHIRE) — Donny, who considers himself a strong MAGA Republican, has worked in high-tech for 25 years and always for a woman manager.
“I like the uncertainty. The capricious nature of of the relationship. And to tell you the truth, I really enjoy being blamed for something I didn’t do. I find it invigorating!
“And of course there’s always the possibility that I will be publicly humiliated for no reason whatsoever in the middle of a critical presentation with clients that I spent weeks working on under her close supervision!
“It’s like a real-life TV drama where you never ever know what’s going to happen next!
“Also, when I work for a woman I don’t have to worry about raises of promotions, and I know I’ll always get a lackluster review, which I find grounding.
“And yeah, I guess I REALLY like that withering stare just before she starts screaming at me, you know, and calling me a total f***ing useless moron! Honestly, I thrive in that kind of tough love nurturing environment!”
Donny, and millions of men like him, grew up watching horror movies in his parents basement during the summer months next to a 30 of Pepsi and a huge bag of potato chips instead of going to the beach, rarely if ever dated, and never played sports or worked out.
He enjoys overeating, looking at his new-in-box gun collection the way chads look at beautiful women, and of course falling asleep in his reclining chair.
Donny also does EXACTLY what his wife’s boyfriend tells him to do, which aside from washing and waxing his car and giving him walking around money, means voting for Democrats.
“Look,” Donny explains. “Did I want to vote a straight Republican ticket in the mid-terms? You bet. But Tyrone, my wife’s boyfriend, well, he told me that the only Republican I could vote for was Governor Sununu, because, you know, he’s not really a Republican. But every other vote had to be a Democrat — or else!
“And Gale, my wife, she insisted I take a photo of my ballot; otherwise she wouldn’t make me one of her special homemade chicken pot pies for dinner, before she and Tyrone went out to their swinger’s club.
“So no big deal, right? And the best part was that I could control the remote for 30 minutes while they were gone, although not consecutively. But of course first I had to clear that with Mr T.
“Anyway, I guess the big question is, would Republicans have taken the country in a better direction? Probably. But as it turns out, my wife actually looks a little bit like a cross between Maggie Hassan, Annie Kuster, and Chris Pappas — especially Maggie Hassan and Chris Pappas.
“So although at first I was a little remorseful, now I’m OK with my decision. In fact, I’m really glad I voted for them, and the more I think about it, I’m REALLY glad they won!”