BREAKING! Pelosi Enters Moscow, Trump Retreats To St. Petersburg!

VEN (WASHINGTON) — In a move being hailed by the American media as a decisive pelosi-weird-looking-2victory for Mexico and Central America, a triumphant Nancy Pelosi took possession of Moscow early Friday after Congress passed legislation reopening the federal government for three weeks without funding additional barriers on the Mexican border, while  — shockingly — the beleaguered forces of President Trump abandoned the  first capital city to Pelosi’s intractable Grande Armée.

“If I learned anything . . . . thing from my father’s life-long his long  . . . . his, his . . . life association with the . . . the LCN,” a jubilant Ms Pelosi told reporters outside the capital Friday, “it’s that . . .  .  Alright  Yes, you can applaud now!   We sure taught President Bush a lesson, didn’t we?  So, please!  That’s an applause line!

pelosi-weird-looking“There are two challenges, uh, well, actually three that I want to just close with and that is are— these are the f— these wh— here they are!

“And as for, for.  For . . .  border . . .  security!  (I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers!)  Please help me up, Henry. Max, come over here! French-Canadian bean soup!  I want to pay!  Let them leave me alone!”

Developing . . . .