VEN (WASHINGTON) — In a move being hailed by the American media as a decisive victory for Mexico and Central America, a triumphant Nancy Pelosi took possession of Moscow early Friday after Congress passed legislation reopening the federal government for three weeks without funding additional barriers on the Mexican border, while — shockingly — the beleaguered forces of President Trump abandoned the first capital city to Pelosi’s intractable Grande Armée.
“If I learned anything . . . . thing from my father’s life-long his long . . . . his, his . . . life association with the . . . the LCN,” a jubilant Ms Pelosi told reporters outside the capital Friday, “it’s that . . . . Alright Yes, you can applaud now! We sure taught President Bush a lesson, didn’t we? So, please! That’s an applause line!
“There are two challenges, uh, well, actually three that I want to just close with and that is are— these are the f— these wh— here they are!
“And as for, for. For . . . border . . . security! (I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers!) Please help me up, Henry. Max, come over here! French-Canadian bean soup! I want to pay! Let them leave me alone!”
Developing . . . .