VEN (NEW YORK) — After losing by a vicious knockout in the final round of their 15-round championship bout in November, 2016, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — according to concerned friends and close-associates — is seriously contemplating a 2020 rematch with the now heavily favored President Trump in what many are calling the MAGA and the SKAGA, V2.0.
“The woman has been in and out of the hospital for the last 18 months,” one former aide told VEN‘s Senior Boxing Correspondent Bert Sugar Monday. “She’s gained 40 pounds, she can barely see out of her right eye, she suffers from vertigo and aphasia — whoever’s telling her a rematch is a good thing is not doing her any favors.
“My God, Trump hit her so hard he knocked out her teeth and gave her a prolapsed rectum!
“She had to eat everything with a straw, and give up eating Haitian children for over 6 months. Why she’d want to risk going through that kind of punishment again is beyond me!”
Despite then-candidate Trump having knocked Mrs Clinton down four times in earlier rounds, the judges had it 14-0 for Mrs Clinton going into the 15th and final round.
“Many lesser people — your Romney’s, your McCain’s — would have thrown in the towel at that point,” one former Obama aide told reporters. “That’s what she was counting on.”
However, a determined Mr Trump came out swinging, flooring the exhausted and no longer overconfident Mrs Clinton twice in the first two minutes of the final round, before almost knocking her out with a series of vicious combinations to her head that staggered her against the ropes.
Looking back at the referee to see if he was stopping the fight and getting no response, Mr Trump then decicively ended the bout with a brutal uppercut to Mrs Clinton’s jaw that lifted the presidential hopeful off her feet and sent her mouthpiece flying out of ring, as she collapsed twitching onto the canvas.
As referee Jose Contraro counted Mrs Clinton out, and her shocked corner men rushed to her aid, the arena went wild with overjoyed MAGA supporters screaming USA! USA! while a smiling, unscathed President-elect Trump waved to them triumphantly from the center of the ring!
“It was beyond a doubt the greatest comeback victory ever,” the late Ferdie Pacheco told reporters after the match. “I thought Trump killed her with that final punch,
“If I were HRC, I’d listen to my handlers and retire.
“The President literally did not break a sweat through 15 rounds. How the judges could have had it 14-0 for Mrs Clinton is just beyond me. They must have been watching a different fight!”