VEN (NEW YORK) — When she learned that former New York Times senior editor Jill Abramson had a tiny plastic doll of President Barack Obama that she reportedly uses surreptitiously as an auto-erotic amatory device, iconic zaftig klafte kvitshik entertainer Barbra Streisand decided to “go small” and one-up her longtime khaver”te.
Anonymous sources tell VEN‘s Senior Scientific Correspondent Dr Heinrich Mabuse that Ms Streisand consulted with gay cloning expert Dr. Randolph Spencer Montag of the Hans Kammler Institute in Buenos Aires, who — using a lock of hair — was able to create a perfect 1/24-scale clone of CNN‘s Anderson Cooper!
“I’ve never seen her happier!” a close friend told VEN Monday. “Babs puts him in her purse when she goes shopping, they do each other’s hair, and Mini Cooper as she refers to him, has been a big help to her professionally, too!
“Right now, they’re collaborating on an album of gay show tunes, What I Did For Love — Babs Goes Bath House!
“That little gay clone is now the light of her life!”