Casinos Too?

VEN (JERUSALEM) —  A day after sending shock waves through the Middle East by announcing plans to open 200 pawn shops on the Syrian border,  Israel doubled down in the face of potential UN sanctions Monday by revealing that the tiny Jewish ethnostate is in discussions with MGM Resorts International to build 5 mega casinos featuring all-you-can-eat falafel buffets and free jellab for gamblers.

“The idea is that the Syrian military will not only pawn their weapons for hard currency, but unable to resist the lure of the free buffet,  they will immediately lose that money in the casinos — so the matériel AND the cash will stay in Israel,” one Middle East diplomat told VEN‘s  Senior International Correspondent Sam  Rothstein Monday.

“It’s beyond genius!”

Meanwhile,  prominent American race hustler Jessie (Mr Set Aside) Jackson — who once referred to New York City as Hymie Town — and former President Jimmy Carter who in a 1976 Playboy interview admitted  that — like Alexander Portnoy — he often lusted after butch voluptuous Israeli military women in his heart, held a joint press conference offering to mediate and hopefully defuse the crisis.

“I think,” Mr Jackson told reporters, “that if Mr Netanyahu will promise to set aside, say,  10% of the casino jobs for the African migrants they are deporting, then yes, a deal can certainly be made.”

Echoing that sentiment, Mr Carter added that — assuming they can secure funding from the Israeli government — Habitat for Humanity would be happy to build temporary housing for the many Syrians and their Iranian and Russian advisors who — once they lose all of their money at the gambling tables — will not be able to afford the steep prices the casinos are likely to charge for hotel rooms

And worse — will likely be executed if they attempt to return to their native countries!

“Israel must be willing to set aside at least 10% of their casino jobs for these potentially destitute Syrians as a show of good faith,” Mr Jackson insisted, “before any viable solution to this crisis  can reasonably be discussed.”

Developing . . . .