Bawlmore, You Is My Wakanda Now!

VEN (BALTIMORE) — Baltimore beat out Detroit, Memphis, Birmingham, and East St Louis for the coveted 2018 Wakanda Award for the best black-majority American city that most exemplifies how African-Americans overcame the oppressive influence of white privilege colonial hegemony to create a literal Paradise on Earth for Black Americans.

“It’s not just some Marvel comic book fantasy,  I can tell you that!” Baltimore mayor Catherine Pugh explained to reporters Monday.

“For years, Baltimore rivaled Detroit and East St Louis for what we like to call the best in breed for the Black American Urban  Renaissance Movement (BAURM).  Or what the brothers be callin’ Mr Bau (laughs).

“We ARE Wakanda, Motherf***a!  Ain’t nobody say otherwise.  Y’all feel me?? We won cuz we give a brother room to DESTROY!

“Y’all muthaf***a’s diss us again — an  Ima lookin’a at y’all, Detroit — we will send our PoPo Liberation Army (PLA) to pop a cap in yow dumb MOTOWN azz, burn whatever left yow city DOWN,  an bring all yow bitches back to B-More where we turn them out as meter maids and ho’s!

“So on behalf of the great city of Baltimore and our majority Black American population, I am proud to accept the 2018 Wakanda Award for Urban Excellence!

“And remember — it ain’t Haiti yet, but we ain’t NEVER stop tryin’!”

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