VEN (KABUL) — After a 35-year-old Syrian teenage migrant and his two 27-year-old teenage friends were acquitted of gang rape in Bavaria because they had become triggered by ubiquitous displays of alcohol and pork near their state-subsidized NO GO Zone apartment, Chancellor Merkel announced Sunday that she is working with the Bundestag to address the growing problem of the German replacement population’s frequent amygdala hijackings and feelings of profound angst owing to the “threatening cultural animosity” brought on by “Germans being Germans.”

One possibility under consideration CDU spokesperson Felix Krull explained to reporters Sunday, is a complete ban on beer, wine, and pork products in areas — like Frankfort — where the migrant replacement population outnumbers what Ms Merkel  has come to refer to as “our moribund,  dis-assimilating, so-called native Germans.”

The ban may even be extended to include Munich’s iconic Oktoberfest celebration.

Whereas it is already  crime to wear lederhosen and dirndls in Bavaria within 200 meters of a migrant NO GO Zone, Ms Merkel is considering reducing the radius to 20 meters and raising the fine from 20€ to 20,000€, five years in prison, and forcing repeat offenders to turn over their residence to a migrant replacement population rape gang designated by the CDU.

Developing . . . .