VEN (WASHINGTON) — On the heels of his controversial decision to rescind the Obama-era directive that effectively eliminated federal prosecution for marijuana possession, Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced late Thursday that he has directed the DOJ  to ban the British rock group THE BEATLES from entering the United States, contending that they have “blasphemed against the Baby Jesus.”

“Rock and Roll — which is essentially overtly, sexually charged, repackaged  Negro music for young white people — is as much a gateway drug as marijuana,” Mr Sessions told reporters Friday.

“That some long-haired, hippie,  English guitar player could say that his band is more popular than Jesus Christ is quite simply beyond belief, not to mention un-American.

“We don’t want or need his kind in the United States!  Mr Lennon — or should I say Comrade Lenin — our young American teenage boys and girls do NOT want to hold your hand!”

According to senior officials from the Tavistock Institute, Mr Sessions apparently based his decision on a controversial 1964 interview THE BEATLES gave to British journalist Maureen Cleave, which was printed in the Evening Standard.

Legal experts question the timing of the ban, since THE BEATLES — one of the most famous and influential rock bands in the history of rock ‘n roll — disbanded in 1970, and Mr Lennon was himself tragically gunned down and killed by deranged fan Mark David Chapman in front of his residence on the upper west side of New York City in 1980, decades before Mr Sessions became Attorney General.

Mr Sessions is also rumored to be pressuring the Canadian government to identify and extradite the few remaining draft resistors who fled to Canada during the Vietnam War, so they can be incarcerated and put on trial for treason.

Developing . . . .