VEN (SEOUL) — The Most Glorious And Transplendent Most Handsomest Most Virile Husband Of The Moon And Stars And Untouchable Top-Of-The-Key Cray Cray Baller Power Forward Kim Jong-Un, has reportedly embraced the new Rocket Man sobriquet bestowed on him by US President and frenemy Donald Trump.
As longtime Supreme Leader BFF Dennis Rodman explained to reporters Monday, “The K-Dawg really loves that song, man, which is what I told the Trump people when they contacted me. He absolutely LOVES Elton John and think his lyrics speak directly to him.
“In fact, he had his uncle killed when the fool misplaced his special edition Goodbye Yellow Brick Road CD.
“K-Dawg’s told me many times over kimchi and lean that he fears that — like his father — he will be nothin’ more — as he says it — than just a candle in the wrind. That’s real, man. The Kim-Dawg is a solid dude. He just lonely.
“Like I told Trump’s people, if the President would make a recording of Your Song, and dedicate it to K-Dawg and play it at a rally or something or Tweet it out and maybe send him an autographed CD — man, that would go a long way in smoothing things over. And maybe talk some roundball with him. That’s all it would take. And I’m being straight with y’all! It really is that simple!”