VEN (Westfield, NJ) — In his latest autobiography I Am Not Fester,  controversial fifth-columnist #NeverTrump Machiavellian NSA Advisor General H.R. McMaster hits back at alt-right critics who accuse him — among other things — of vulturing the Uncle Fester look in a cynical attempt to draw unfavorable comparisons between President Trump and Addam’s Family scion and eccentric multi-billionaire Gomez Addams.

“Although I pride myself on my many and varied accomplishments,” General McMaster writes, “to the dismay of Mike Cernovich and others of his ilk no, I am not able to illuminate a light bulb by just putting it in my mouth.  Nor — as Brietbart contends — have I ever advocated using eagles or other birds of prey to attack and disrupt North Korea’s sophisticated carrier pigeon communications network.

“I am not, repeat NOT, Uncle Fester.”

But others are not so sure.

“The man’s a walking, talking psyop,” one senior White House official told VEN.  “And yes I’ve personally seen him with a lightbulb in his mouth wandering the corridors of the West Wing at night like Lady Macbeth.

“It’s creepy.

“He’s also been trying to get the President to install an elaborate model train set in the Oval Office with trains on the same track going in opposite directions.  This would create a spectacular fiery crash, which McMaster could then exploit as a metaphor for  a rudderless,  out-of-control administration that he has been working so hard to undermine.

“He’s a Deep Sate, open border, pro Islam, neo-con Soros globalist.  Bannon has a nickname for him — Die Sache, which — appropriately enough since we’re talking about the Addam’s Family — means The Thing.”

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