Mein Führer! I Am Back From The De — My GOD, Mika, Another Facelift?!

VEN (WASHINGTON) —  A sad day in Brzezinski town.

After years of repeatedly failing to live up to her father’s lofty expectations, until finally she resigned herself to a lifetime of withering looks of disapproval and disdain, the plucky Q-Tip- Topped maladroit and oddly obtuse Mika Brzezinski  — like Sisyphus  —  gave it one more impossible try, this time by relentlessly attacking President Trump for months in what many have called a misguided attempt to please her Cold Warrior and nefarious neo-con father,  Zbigniew Kazimierz Brzezinski.

The childish abuse finally elicited a brace of  blisteringly unflattering tweets from the President, devastating Ms Brzezinski.

“It was at this point,” an anonymous source told VEN, “that she reached out to  her late father for advice during a special séance in Georgetown.”

Unfortunately for Mika, however, her father’s advice was more sobering than the President’s tweets.

“Why must you always behave like a vapid little schoolgirl!  Is this what I raised you to do?  IS IT??  If you pull a tiger’s tail, Mika, you must expect at some point you will be eaten.  Now grow up and stop wasting your life acting like a ridiculous little clown with that equally vapid, abomination of a fiance of yours!

“Another facelift?  Pandering to the man — a President! — that you later ruthlessly attacked like a prating schoolgirl on that ridiculous TV show of yours?

“My God, Mika! If only your mother had given me another son!”

Mika Reacts To Father Telling Her To Stop Talking And Sit Up Straight On Live TV