BREAKING — “I Even Scare Myself Sometimes!” Hillary Blames Menopause For Election Loss

VEN (Chappaqua) —  Anonymous sources close to Hillary Clinton tell VEN that the former Secretary Of State blames her violent mood swings, erratic behavior, fainting spells, cackling, coughing fits,  and overall nasty shrill off-putting harridan behavior on a protracted menopause which began when the former First Lady was 29.


“I can say this now with complete certainty,” Mrs Clinton told CUNY grads recently, affecting her ever-so-slight signature Southern drawl. “The change of life as we used to call it back in Arkansas, ruined my chances to become president.

“You know, you work so hard — day and night for years — to become another Medea, but your own body, your own hormones turn on you!    It’s really the ultimate betrayal.

“You know,  it’s as if Lady Macbeth and I are soul mates!  Unsex me here!  I sure wish I’d thought of that 40 years ago!  If I had, I’d be president today . . . .