VEN (WASHINGTON) — A sad day in Brzezinski town.
After years of repeatedly failing to live up to her father’s lofty expectations, until finally she resigned herself to a lifetime of withering looks of disapproval and disdain, the plucky Q-Tip- Topped maladroit and oddly obtuse Mika Brzezinski — like Sisyphus — gave it one more impossible try, this time by becoming engaged to co-host Joe Scarborough in what many have called a misguided attempt to please her implacable Cold Warrior and nefarious neo-con father, Zbigniew Kazimierz Brzezinski.
The news of the engagement apparently killed Mr Brzezinski.
An anonymous source told VEN:
“Upon being told that his daughter was engaged to be married to her co-host Joe Scarborough, an apoplectic Zbigniew Brzezinski berated her on the telephone for several minutes before suffering a sudden, massive heart attack when she refused his demand to break off the engagement and marry Kim Jung-un instead.
“Sadly, Mr Brzezinski succumbed to pneumonia several days later at Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Virginia.
“Drifting in and out of consciousness, his last words were Goddamn it, Mika, I was SO damn close to starting World War III! You. Ruined. EVERYTHING!”