Mein Führer! I Can Wa — My GOD, Mika, You’re Marrying Your Idiot Co-host?!

VEN (WASHINGTON) —  A sad day in Brzezinski town.

After years of repeatedly failing to live up to her father’s lofty expectations, until finally she resigned herself to a lifetime of withering looks of disapproval and disdain, the plucky Q-Tip- Topped maladroit and oddly obtuse Mika Brzezinski  — like Sisyphus  —  gave it one more impossible try, this time by becoming engaged to co-host Joe Scarborough in what many have called a misguided attempt to please her implacable Cold Warrior and nefarious neo-con father,  Zbigniew Kazimierz Brzezinski.

The news of the engagement apparently killed Mr Brzezinski.

An anonymous source told VEN:

“Upon being told that his daughter was engaged to be married to her co-host Joe Scarborough, an apoplectic  Zbigniew Brzezinski berated  her on the telephone for several minutes before suffering a sudden, massive heart attack when she refused his demand to break off the engagement and marry Kim Jung-un instead.

“Sadly, Mr Brzezinski succumbed to pneumonia several days later at Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Virginia.

“Drifting in and out of consciousness, his last words were Goddamn it, Mika, I was SO damn close to starting World War III!  You.  Ruined.  EVERYTHING!

Mika Reacts To Father Telling Her To Stop Talking And Sit Up Straight On Live TV