VEN (ROME) — Luigi Valentini, a 75-year-old former carpenter from Abruzzi,  was acquitted  Friday on attempted murder charges, after he shot his wife of 50 years twice in the right shoulder when  she tried — for the second time in two weeks — to serve him Spaghetti alla Carbonara  made with Egg Beaters and turkey bacon.

“Even the priest said it was a sin,” Senior Valentini said through an interpreter.  “Guanciale,  fresh eggs, black pepper, pecorino romano, and spaghetti.  Questo è tutto! Why should I eat like a Turk at my age?

“She was a wonderful wife until she discovered  Facebook and Twitter.  Now, she plays something called Sudoku all day, and tells me pork and eggs are bad for me.  A man can only take so much.

“As I told the judge — I regret nothing!  I was aiming for her heart!”