VEN (WASHINGTON) —  Abdul Ali Mohammad, a foreign-exchange student from Kabul, whose family owns the International Taqiyya Times,  told VEN that he was always a very pious man until he came to an American university, where — shamefully — he was immersed in “the decadent culture of the infidel.”

During his first week of orientation, Mr Mohammad contends,  he was forced to watch MTV and listen to stories from American students about wild fraternity parties and Spring Break, where uninhibited, half-naked co-eds behaved in a manner hateful to the Prophet, and — to his amazement — clearly expected to have sex with most if not all of their classmates,  and in many cases actually encouraged it with their wanton behavior.

“Women go to college to have sex with strangers.  This was new to me,” Mr Mohammad explained.  “I did not realize that in the West women were allowed to go to school!

“This would be haram for a true believer, but they are not true believers.  They are infidels who promote an unholy twerking culture in their universities.

“At home, as you know,  we have the bacha bazi, the dancing boys, because of course the women are off-limits.  But here?  Where all the women are infidels?  And many are blonde? Are you kidding me?!

“Anyway, after being forced against my will to watch my first Girls Gone Wild video for the 30th time,  my soul became so inflamed with such overpowering desires, that finally — my heart racing — I knew what I had to do.”

Unfortunately for Mr Mohammad, what he had to do got him maced, beaten up,  and then arrested after attempting to assault a co-ed at — ironically — a fraternity party.

“This is why we hate the Great Satan,” Mr Mohammad explained.  “They always fight back. Next time — Allah willing! — I will pretend to be “transitioning”,  and then target a foreign exchange student from Sweden, Germany, or if need be, The Sudan!”