KNN (WASHINGTON) — Bo Obama sat down with KNN senior Washington Correspondent Robert Wringhim Sunday at the Hotel Washington, to discuss his years in the White House as the First Dog. Bo made it very clear at the outset that he would not address any questions about his appearance, and KNN was happy to comply with that request.
“You asked about holidays and so forth and what that was like from my perspective. First, I want to be very clear about a story in the Daily Mail about me from 2011, and I quote:
Michelle unveils holiday decorations to military families as Obamas celebrate the season with 37 Christmas trees, a 400lb gingerbread house and a replica of family dog Bo in almost EVERY room.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: For the complete story Bo referenced, see the Daily Mail article here.)
“People read that and they thought — wow, ain’t Bo a lucky dog. Ain’t the Obamas lovin’ on Bo. WRONG! Miss Marian — the First Lady’s Mother — put my replica not just in some rooms, but in EVERY room of the White House — and I mean every room, even the closets — because she knew that Barry would not — I repeat — WOULD NOT get all down low and sweaty on Reggie Love’s sweet boy azz if I was around.”
“So, for example, if Barry would say, ‘Hey, (i)Reggie, while Michelle’s finishin’ off the last bottle of Crystal before she takes Bo for a walk, let’s you and me slip into the walk-in closet in the Lincoln bedroom for 15 minutes and have another one of our leading from behind consultations,’ as soon as he opened that closet door WHAM! he’d see my replica and his eyes would get all big and white like Mantan Moreland in King of the Zombies, and then ZOOM! he’d run like hell outta there like his thong was on fire!”
“That is ah, just ah … that is just a stunning revelation! On so many levels! How many times did this happen?
“A. LOT! My replica was the down-low equivalent of a SHELL No Pest Strip. And frankly, after what he did to me, I don’t give a damn who knows, which is why I agreed to talk to you today. Sweet Boy had me NEUTERED! But now he and Reggie and Mr Ballerina ain’t havin’ no fun neither. Miss Marian saw to that! That’s how she kept Barry off the down low and towin’ the line — that cheap-azz hotdog eatin’ no account fool got got good! And for the record, I’m very happy to have been a part of it!