KNN (FRANCE) — Like his mentor Nostradamus, Dr Juan-Emile Cortez De La Montracher, the royal court augur for the tiny Duchy of Grenyarnia, and the man who foretold BREXIT and Samantha Bee, once again looks into his magic mirror, but this time he does not like what he sees.
As Cortez De La Montracher rarely speaks or appears in public, his apprentice, known only as Bip, explained the Doctor’s findings to KNN:
“The powerful, mysterious conjunction of a Hitler and a Stalin figure — fascism wed to communism — is, as you might imagine, as portentous as, say, a Uranus/Saturn square. And in terms of deadly intent, worse than the ill-aspected Lovers surrounded by The Tower and Card of Death, in a reading filled with Swords, inversions, perhaps the unpropitious Seven of Pentacles and — were that not bad enough — the Card of Final Judgement!
“What The Master sees is very dispiriting, to say the least. We may, quite frankly, very well be looking at the end of times!”
As Bip explained, Cortez De La Montracher predicts that as this powerful, negative energy begins to manifest itself, President Trump — risking nuclear annihilation — will confront and disarm North Korea and Iran! And worse — soon the entire world will fear the United States again!
Long disparaged manliness will reassert itself, and the androgynous, harmless little beta-male may very well cease to exist!
Soot from newly approved coal-burning plants will darken the planet, forcing many to live underground. Recycling will stop. Undocumented aliens will be cast out of nations, borders will be sealed, the violent will be prosecuted, and an iron-fisted rule of law will be the scourge of the land!
“This will be a very dark time for Social Justice Warriors, Globalists, Sociologists, and all Women’s and Black Studies Majors,” Bip explained. “They will speak, but their words will not be heard. Instead, they will appear like so many squeaking mice in the face of the exalted!”
So is this truly the end of the world as we know it? Are we doomed to an endless nightmare of paternalism, individualism, and national pride?
Bip says there’s still a ray of hope, however slight.
“Depending on planetary aspects not yet fully understood, The Master believes that after eight years of almost intolerable desolation, there may yet be a way out of the darkness.”
But as more and more irreplacable snowflakes continue to vanish, perhaps the real question is when the time of reconciliation finally arrives, will there be anyone left to care?