Oh Brave New World That Has Such Fast Food In It!

 

KNN (PASADENA) — As reported by Engadget,  Miso Robotics and CaliBurger have developed the first practical hamburger flipping machine.

Unlike earlier unsuccessful attempts at automating hamburger flipping — most notably, the Scalisi Brothers’ CosaNostra device that tragically decapitated  five French-Canadian employees who were just not paying close enough attention — Flippy, as the new high-tech machine is called, actually works without killing or maiming anyone!

In fact,  unverifiable sources tell ZNN that Flippy  can be programmed to act just like its human counterpart.  Although Caliburger was not about to reveal at this stage of development exactly what that means,  they were quick to deny rumors that Flippy can be configured to simulate spitting occasionally onto a random patty for no good reason or to shutdown and refuse to flip burgers for police officers in inner-city neighborhoods where tensions with law enforcement are running high.