KNN Business (NEW YORK) — According to unnamed and unreliable sources, Altria Group, Inc is considering bringing back the Marlborough Man with a new, hip twist, after corporate executives saw a photograph of Former President Obama leaving the National Gallery with his wife over the weekend.
“We are very, very excited!” an unvetted, self-identifying Altria Group spokesperson told KNN. “For the first time in a very long time, we think we have a really good chance of expanding our market penetration overseas — especially in France, Greece, Turkey and of course in parts of Southern England. We’re tentatively calling the campaign “The So Gay For You Marlborough Man” — a sort of butch/twink branding, which is epitomized by the Former President, who — as we all know — worked very hard to build up that image for himself over the last eight years. And of course he’s a smoker, too! It’s almost too good to be true. We don’t want to get ahead of ourselves while we’re still in negotiations with the Former President, but this could be HUGE!”