KNN (ROME) —  Vatican in the spotlight again, and not in a good way.  A routine audit of the Church’s finances uncovered almost $5,000,000.00 EUR ($5,277,997.00 USD) spent over the last 18 months on 100 extra-small Comet pizzas “with nothing on them.”

Comet Pizza is in Washington, DC, yet the pizzas were overnighted from Bangkok on at least 20 occasions in crates marked Pizzas dormiens, nec non turbet!

A spurious and possibly duplicitous source in the Curia told  KNN that even with a 25%-off coupon, this sort of extravagance is indefensible.  “We have great pizza right here in Rome.  This whole thing is just mystifying.”