I Could Have Danced All Night


KNN (TORTOLA) — Unverifiable sources report that Former First Lady Michelle Obama fell asleep while sunbathing in the British Virgin Islands last week, and was mistaken for a beached whale by well-wishers.

Former White House press Secretary Josh Earnest denies rumors that Mrs Obama had in fact passed out after another hard night of drinking with her Secret Service detail and entourage, or that she  was surrounded by empty cans of COLT 45 Malt Liquor and several broken bottles of Gordon’s Gin — a supposed Former First Lady favorite —  as reported by the British tabloids.