KNN (SAN FRANCISCO) — KNN has received tenuous, unconfirmed reports that height and intellectually challenged former Secretary of Labor and Berkeley economics professor Robert Reich was arrested earlier today for possession of a controlled substance “with intent to distribute.”
One self-indentifying official, speaking on condition of anonymity and whose veracity was impossible to verify, explained that not only was Reich manufacturing and selling an illegal and highly addictive drug on a massive scale, but “he was his own best customer.”
The DEA initially became suspicious of Reich in late 2011, after reading his column in BUSINESS INSIDER, where Reich argued that Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden would switch jobs in 2012.
Their investigation became more focused in late 2016, following a series of bizarre screeds against Candidate and then President Trump, culminating in his arrest earlier today after NEWSWEEK posted his most unhinged attack on the President yet, claiming Mr Trump is a traitor.
EDITOR’s NOTE — Mr Trump has been President for 46 days.
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 