KNN Business (NEW YORK) —  BREAKING! Unconfirmed  and possibly unfounded reports from our unvetted, questionable sources contend that professional tosspot and underachieving Notre Dame Head Football Coach Brian Kelly inks seven-figure deal with Fruit-of-the-Loom to replace Wayne Wilderson as lovable Grape, The Purple Fruit Guy.

In keeping with tradition, the new Kelly character will be known as Grape, the Purple Sh!t-faced Fruit Who Looks Like He Likes Guys Fruit Guy.

Developing ….