Janet Napolitano Granted Softball Franchise

Kafka News Network  (HERMITAGE, TN)— Frustrated in her bid to acquire the Santa Ana Lionettes of the National Pro Fastball League, former Homeland Security Director, Janet Napolitano  — and  a consortium of investors that includes Huma Abedin, Rosie O’Donnell,  and Hillary Clinton — has been granted a new Fastball League franchise in Oakland, California.

Led by slugger Samantha (Sam) “Cool Mama Bell”  Atkinson, the Oakland Gertrude Steins will take the field in 2017, time-sharing a ballpark with the East Oakland High School Lady Skinheads, until their own facility is completed sometime in mid 2018.