EXCLUSIVE! Kavanaugh Accuser Blasey-Ford Suddenly Remembers — My Husband’s Been Ravaging Me Against My Will For Years!
BREAKING — Five DC Dunkin’ Donuts Close, Can’t Keep Up With Demand Ahead Of Kavanaugh Demonstrations! Authorities Worry Chocolate Factory Next!
Kickstart My Heart — Judge Kavanaugh Denies New Petting Zoo Allegations, While Senator Grassley Scrambles To Accommodate Dr Ford’s Latest List Of Non-Negotiable Demands!
“All Right Everyone, Line Up Alphabetically According To Your Height” — Ocasio-Cortez Wins Coveted Casey Stengel Award!
