Very Ersatz News (NEW YORK) — BREAKING! — FBI releases report from the 1970s detailing Fred Trump’s alleged illegal refusal to rent to black people.
“I’m not sure we did anything wrong here,” the President’s father explained to DOJ lawyers in a 1973 deposition. “But let me tell you — Stalin, Lenin, Trotsky would turn over in their graves if I ever rented to a Chernyy Chelovek!”