We Ain’t All Baptists Down Here, Sonny!


Kafka Network News (WASHINGTON) — Criticized for spending every weekend at Mar-a-Lago,  and not using the less expensive and more traditional Camp David for presidential get-a-ways, the Trump White House is finally fighting back.

Unverifiable sources tell KNN, that cleaning crews — incredibly — having been working around the clock since January 20th,  to remove all remnants of Santeria religious rites from the Maryland presidential retreat.

“The  Former First Lady’s mother and her friend Marie Soliel Le Vant are high priests in the Regla de Ochá religion, which uses elaborate altars, and at times deals with animal sacrifice.  Apparently, when Hillary lost the election, they left hundreds of rotting chicken carcasses, pig’s blood, and makeshift altars all over the place.  The President has no choice but to go to Florida.  From what OSHA is telling us, until the cleaning is completed according to their guidelines,  Camp David is now effectively a Hazmat site!”