Kafka Network News (SEOUL) — In violation of UN sanctions, North Korea’s all time home run leader and winner of 20 consecutive MVP Awards, Kim “Little Big Man” Jong-Un fires yet another salvo of kimchi-filled ballistic missiles towards Japan, threatening US bases there.
“The four ballistic rockets launched simultaneously are so accurate that they looked like the ROCKETTES in their signature eye-high kicks formation, which as the world knows, America’s gangster capitalists stole from North Korea!
“Triple-threat North Korea has the best musicals, the best choreographers, and the best singer/dancer/actors in the world!” a defiant Kim boasted to reporters. “And like dancers, rockets don’t need wings to fry!”
“Want to know what’s more destructive than a nuclear bomb — KIMCHI! America! Broadway! We are coming for you!”