VEN (ABUJA) — On the heels of Qatar presenting President Trump with a 400 million (USD) 747 “palace in the sky,” Nigerian President Bola Ahmed Tinubu announced late Tuesday that Nigeria would present Mr Trump with a tricked out EL Dorado “pimp mobile” built especially for him by Mr Tinubu’s Nigerian Security Forces (NSF), because — as Mr Tinubu told reporters — “President Trump be a flossin’ playa, as they say in the United States, and he needs a dope ride, and I decided to give him one!”
Mr Tinubu had his best engineers binge watch several of the most popular Blaxploitation films from the 1970s, including Super Fly, Shaft, Cleopatra Brown, and Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song, and then flew the notorious Iceberg Slim to Lagos to serve as their technical advisor.
“We wanted everything to be as authentic as possible, right down to the pimp siren and golden fog lights. Then we added the white-gold plated platinum grill and rims, bullet-proof glass and so forth — even an original 8-track tape player with several Barry White 8-track tapes! It is magnificent! Nothing but the best for President Trump!”
White House spokesperson and recent high school graduate, Karoline Leavitt, told reporters Wednesday that Mr Trump was thrilled with the pimp mobile, which he plans to use instead of a golf cart at The Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, and will feature it in the military parade on June 14 celebrating the U.S. Army’s 250th anniversary and Mr Trump’s 79th birthday.
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