VEN (WASHINGTON) — An ebullient President Trump announced a record trade deal with United Kingdom Prime Minister Keri Starmer early Thursday, putting an end to months of economic uncertainty between the two nations.
However, anonymous sources tell VEN‘s Senior Tariff Correspondent Justin Morrill that the trade deal was not without its dramatic moments, and at one point almost fell apart entirely when Mr Trump made several last-minute demands that the Mr Starmer found untenable.
Apparently, at the eleventh hour Mr Trump proposed a cross-licensing agreement between the United States, the UK, and McDonald’s whereby the US would agree to import approximately 2.5 billion dollars worth of haggis every year and subsidize the launch of a new McDonald’s McHaggis Burger in the US and UK.
In return, President Trump wanted Big Ben renamed Big Mac, the tower of London renamed The Trump Tower of London, and the new McDonald’s Angus McHaggis character given the honorary title of Royal Pantler of Scotland.
The President also suggested that a moiré-patterned McHaggis Burger be added to the center of the Union Jack for twelve months time to help establish the brand, and that Mr Starmer consider renaming the English Channel the English Filet-O-Fish Channel as part of the extended licensing agreement for which the UK would receive an as yet undetermined sum based on a percentage of total McHaggis burger sales in the UK.
The Prime Minster agreed to study the proposals, but they were left out of the current trade agreement to be revisited at some as yet undetermined time.
Developing . . . .
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