VEN (Mar-A-Lago) — Former-future orange-and-white-orange-and-white-orange-and-white calico President Donald J. Trump got into very hot water with Chief of Staff Susie “The Terminatrix” Miles Thursday night, after he mistook a bedtime story for the real thing, putting the fictional Duchy of Grand Fenwick on notice that unless they abandoned their nuclear program immediately, the United States would do whatever was necessary “to ensure that this tiny upstart nation, which I’m told very few people have ever heard of, no longer possesses the capacity to threaten the free world with nuclear Armageddon!”

In response, French President Emmanuel “La Grande Folle” Macron issued a statement affirming that any attack on the Duchy of Fenwick would be considered an attack on France, and would be dealt with swiftly and decisively “with all of the alacrity of a delicate chocolate souffle cooked comme il faut and served immediately piping hot from the oven,” a sentiment shared by EU President and female impersonator Ursula von der Leyen, although Herr Leyen — who does not like souffles — drew a comparison to the world renown Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte.

In a hastily organized press conference Friday morning, Ms Miles told reporters that the President — who had been up for 72 hours straight playing Donkey Kong with exploding electric car entrepreneur and autist genius/exercise fanatic Elon Musk — became confused when he mistakenly believed he was being given an intelligence briefing by aides when in fact they were helping him get to sleep by reading to him from the Reader’s Digest condensed version of The Mouse That Roared.

Ms Miles also denied rumors that Mr Trump had scribbled notes on a World Atlas, crossing out Atlantic Ocean and writing Adderall Ocean in block letters with a blue pen, and renaming the Mississippi River the Bigly River because Mr Trump has difficulty spelling and pronouncing the word Mississippi.

Developing . . . .