VEN (SALT LAKE CITY) — Almost 30 years ago — through a series of third-party agreements — Donald Trump unknowingly entered into a partnership with a Brooklyn construction company owned by the Moroni crime family.
The project fell through, lawsuits ensued, and as part of the final settlement, Mr Trump came into possession of the legendary golden plates given to Latter Day Saints founder Joseph Smith by Carmine Moroni for unspecified reasons in the early 19th century.
In 2014, the elders of the LDS met in Ogden, Utah, at the home of one of the most senior members of the Church, and decided that Mitt Romney would negotiate an agreement with Mr Trump for the return of the golden plates.
However, Mr Trump told Mr Romney that he no longer had the plates, explaining that he sold them to an eccentric private collector in Japan who allegedly had them beaten into edible gold leaf to garnish his fugu sashimi.
The LDS elders were furious. They believed that Mr Trump was lying to them, was still in possession of the plates, and would use them to finance a presidential run in 2016.
Adding insult to injury, Mr Trump offered to provide Mr Romney with authenticated photographs of the plates taken for insurance purposes, in return for a 100 year option on several thousand acres of prime real estate in Utah ski country.
At this point, an exasperated Mr Romney threatened to bring all the power and influence of the LDS — including Glen Beck and, if necessary, both Donnie and Marie Osmond — to block Mr Trump from the Republican nomination, should he choose to run for president in 2016.
UPDATE – After his astonishing victory over Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential Election, Mr Trump surprised everyone by meeting with his former, very vocal adversary Mitt Romney at least three times at Trump properties in New York and New Jersey.
While speculation was rife that Mr Trump was interviewing Mr Romney for the position of Secretary of State, VEN has learned through unverifiable sources that Mr Romney was in fact lobbying for the position of host of The New Celebrity Apprentice, a position Mr Trump held before becoming President, and which eventually went to former Mr Universe, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who once played the role of Governor of California for seven seasons to mixed reviews.
As for the fate of the missing golden plates, Mr Romney denied that there was ever a controversy, explaining that the golden plates were central to the Mormon faith and that no one — not the Church elders or Mr Trump — knows what became of them.